


Falling Stars

by Der_Katze



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Drabble Collection, J2, Tribute to Pearl Jam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2019-11-01 21:08:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 6,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17874872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Der_Katze/pseuds/Der_Katze
Summary: SPN Drabble Collection - 100, 200, 500 words of cocktail-mixed content - often with a little twist.Some interconnected, some stand-alones, some coda, some missing scenes, various tropes and pairings.





	1. Pilot

°

 

 

 

**Pilot**

 

 

"This is supposed to be meeeeee?" Dean’s voice is a high squeak of indignation. "What the fuck? Who is that guy?”

“Ehm, according to the credits, he’s called … eh, Jensen Ackles.” – “You mean Jason?” – “No, Jensen!” – “What kind of name is that?” – “Don’t know. Maybe he has Scandinavian roots.” – “Sure. … And freckles! Which guy has fucking freckles?”

Sam grins at him. “Definitely not you. You only have these little burn marks from back when that grave in Idaho exploded, because you …” – “How many times … It was a freaking accident, Sam-my!”

They are in Dean’s room, lunging on the bed and staring onto the laptop screen, on which the new series "Supernatural" features the Winchester Brothers, who are apparently trying to wrap their head around the mysterious Woman in White.

“Also, … look at you! You're super scrawny and your hair... Which kind of conditioner are you using?" Dean tries to suppress a giggle, but looses the battle.

Sam mock-brushes his non-existing long hair back. “I think, I actually look adorable." – “You mean – ridiculous.” - “Interesting that you dare to open your big fat mouth, looking all sleek and sassy.  It’s a bit far off the truth: no ill-fitting Walmart clothes, no burnt patches, where the hair is not growing back, ...”

“Thanks, Sam! They also have forgotten, that you are actually half a head smaller than me and – oh, they didn’t include the scar, that is covering half of your face.”

They sigh in unisono.

On the screen is a night scene now. “As if that street would be that well lit at night. They should hire us.”

“As actors? I don’t think you can pull off that sexy shit-eating-grin, that Jensen wears.” – “As if you would be able to get these puppy eyes together." - "No, I meant as advicers. That woman was definitely less hot chick and more … ripe. And don’t get me started on the smell, once she turned … Uuuughhh!” – “Ssssshhh. I can’t follow.” – “You lived it. Bitch.” – “Shut up, Jerk. I didn’t … oh, …”

“Fuck, they look really good.”, Dean hisses under his breath. “Well, they are actors with make-up and wardrobe and lighting and a crew, that is basically there to make everything look go..." - “Are they fucking stupid? Don’t leave the searchlights on. It’s like running around with a neon sign “Shoot here!”

“Calm down, Dean. It’s just a show.” – “No. … No, it’s not. This is our fucking life and they are really messing up on the realism. It’s awful, it’s dirty, it stinks and you are set up to die a slow and torturous death.”

“Great pep talk, Dean.” – “And, by the way, if you ever stand that close to me …” Dean is agitatedly pointing at the screen, where Sam has Dean pinned against a metall bridge. “I break your face. Just so we are clear.”

“God, you’re dramatic. ... I wonder, how it feels like to be that Padalecki guy and just mime it.”

 

 

 

 

___________________________________

prompt: envious

 

 

 

 

°


	2. Shadowboxer

°

 

 

 

 

**Shadowboxer**

 

 

 

He usually does it in the soft roar of his head. Sometimes in the hum of the impala. Though only when he is alone. But he always is.

Safely embraced by baby, he lets the gagged litany of curses bubble up.

Only half-heartedly, with the creeping sensation of doing something forbidden, he condemns Sam in Stanford and Dad's decision to go separate ways.

He left him the car, so Baby is all that's left of his family. There are no more grandmas and grandpas, never have been uncles or aunts.

Just baby and him and the poltergeists and vampires and rugarus and from time to time a call from Dad. Even rarer from Sam.

 

*

 

Being on the road with Sam again is an ambivalent pleasure.

It’s salutary to see how fast they are in sync again.

It's terrible not to know when Sam will leave him again, whether he really wants to be with him or is just with him, because Jess ...

 

*

 

And then these fucking angels show him what really happened back in Lawrence, Kansas.

He would never have thought that Mum had been the one who...

 

 

Sometimes he doesn't know where his real enemies stand.

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

_______________________________

 

Prompt: Secret!

 

 

 

°


	3. Borderland I

°

 

 

 

**Borderland I**

 

 

 

He hates the border between dream and reality. Either he has a nightmare, wakes up sweating, with a racing heart and an adrenaline level like a boxer.

Or he dreams of something beautiful. Mum calling from the kitchen that breakfast is ready.

Today it's Dad. He slings an arm around his shoulder. "Well done, my son!" The vampire's severed head is at their feet.

He hates these moments between sleep and reality, because with the clarity of daylight comes the inevitable loss. He squints his eyes.

A hand on his shoulder, a warm, gentle stroke.

"Dean?

"Mhmmmm ... Morning, Sammy!"

 

 

 

 

____________________________

 Prompt: Sleep drunk

 

 

 

°


	4. Borderland II

°  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 **Borderland II**

  
  


 

  
  
Sometimes, between sleep and awakening, he is lucky to be drawn into another life.   
  
Once he went on a trip around the world.   
  
Another time it was a bright yellow house. Lunchtime and Dean's twins arguing over dessert.  
  
Today is especially wild. His heart hammers as he stands in front of a blonde woman in a white dress. Mum and Dad secretly wipe away a tear in the pews.   
  
"Rise and shiny, Sammy!" Dean's voice tears the moment apart as his mouth opens for the "Yes, I will!   
  
Grinning, Dean hands him a steaming coffee. Maybe this is okay, too.

  
  
  
  
  
  
_________________________________  
  
Prompt: Dreamy  
  
  
  
  
°


	5. Once upon a time ...

°

 

 

 

**Once upon a time ...**

 

 

 

 

"You can't take that with you, Sammy! Dad's freaking out."

 

His brother looks at him with these puppy eyes. "But the book is so beautiful. And sad."

 

Dean reads the title "The Brothers Lionheart".

 

"Are you ready?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

*****

 

 

With trembling hands, Dean rummages through Sam's bag. His brother lies cold and pale and dead in this abandoned hut in fucking Nowhere.

 

A colorful flash from the bottom of the bag.

 

He sits down at Sammy's bed, opens the book and begins to read.

 

 

 

_"Now I’m going to tell you about my brother ..."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_____________________________**

 Prompt: Children's Books

[The Brothers Lionheart by Astrid Lindgren](https://de.scribd.com/doc/207059126/The-Brothers-Lionheart-by-Astrid-Lindgren)

 

 

 

 

 

**°**


	6. / Axed. /

°

 

 

Time stamp: Alternative Ending Season 2

 

 

 

**/ Axed. /**

 

 

 

The trunks weigh tons, laying in his arms like cement bags, although he has only cut down tender, small trees.

 

Everything about him is heavy, as if he is cast out of reinforced concrete. Tired, he wipes the sweat out of his eyes, trying to ignore the bright white sheet that blinds him.

 

The broad-shouldered contour below burns itself into his retina, his stomach, which contracts warningly. Dean hurls into the thicket.

 

How many times has he done this?

 

Too often.

 

The lighter hisses landing in the pool of petrol. After endless minutes oily, black smoke rises up.

 

 

 

"Bye, Sammy!"

 

 

 

 

 

____________________________

Prompt: Funeral

 

 

 

 

 

°


	7. The Understudy

°

 

 

 

 

**The Understudy**

 

 

 

Narrow escape.

 

Too close. Again.

 

He runs a hand over his chest. The werewolf’s claws have shredded the robust fabric of the jacket, the flannel shirt and the T-shirt.

 

He turns to Justin. Apologetically, the young man shrugs. A trail of smoke billows around the revolver in his hand.

 

Dean's fingertips catch warm, sticky blood. A lot.

 

Fuck! Justin's sewing skills are limited, no matter how often he teaches him. And he has to teach him often.

 

So far, it has always worked out, though his hunting instinct keeps whispering: “One of the next hunts could be your last …”

 

 

 

 

 

_______________________________

Prompt: Without you

 

 

 

 

°

 


	8. In front of me the endless sea

°

 

 

**In front of me the endless sea**

 

 

 

The wild drumming on the roof and the windows slowly fades away. He turns off the wipers, last trickles running over the windshield.

 

Baby stands all alone on this storm-tossed parking lot on the cliffs.

 

He squints and the Pacific blurs on the horizon with the sky, a lead grey surface in front of him.

 

His eyes fall on the passenger seat. In the footwell lies the take-away salad. He should simply drive back to the motel. Eat. Forget. Sleep.

 

"Fuck you, Sammy! Fuck you!"

 

He pushes the door open against the gusts.

 

_The ocean in front of him roars._

 

 

 

 

________________________

 

Prompt: Beach

 

 

 

 

°


	9. * Alive (RPF)

°

 

 

Time stamp: Season 3 / Winter 2007

 

 

Pearl Jam - Alive

Song in text

[Lyrics](https://genius.com/Pearl-jam-alive-lyrics)

 

 

  

**Alive**

 

 

 

They round a switchback and there it is - 1.000 meters steep, white slopes of finest powder snow. 

Jared wolf whistles, Jensen takes of his sunglasses and shots a picture of them. "Need to document our first tour in your new caravan … Feels weird though, when you're behind the wheel and I'm shotgun." - "Right, I can pick the music." With a huge grin Jared fishes for his iPod.

 

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_wFqbC15h4)

 

The first riff of the Pearl Jam song darts right through his chest. He can hear Jensen join into the refrain “Oooooh oooooh, I’m still alive …” He loves hearing Jensen letting loose like this, but then his friend stops right in the middle of the lyrics.

When the song ends, Jensen aims a quiet “You’re okay?” at him and Jared knows what he means. Searching in himself for an answer, he nods a little astonished. “Yeah. Actually, I am really good. Seems like the anti-depressants are finally kicking in."

"Good, I mean, I guess. … Mhmmmm, Jared? … I … I never told you, but - I was really worried, when you ..."

Jared frowns, then smiles. "I know. You had this little crease here." Jared points between his eyebrows. "And Dean was even grumpier than usual." - "Dean isn't grumpy. He's... manly." - "Whatever you tell yourself.”

 

* 

 

They barge into the caravan like a snowslide after a day of snowboarding. Two grown – overgrown – man trying to get out of their snow gear in the narrow quarters of the camper is a task in itself. Their skin is red from cold wind and sun, their eyes gleaming with a day of free time and nature. Vancouver and the set seem far away.

 

*

 

“Wow, Jen. That actually tastes good.”, Jared chews out around a mouth full of pasta and Jensen quirks an eyebrow at him. “What did you expect?” – “I don’t know, maybe a bit more Dean style?!” – “You are aware, that I am not actually Dean, right? I am just playing this gorgeous Bad-Boy-character on a TV Show, Mr. Fanboy!”

Jensen passes Jared a bottle of beer. “Oh! Micro-Brewery! Okay, now I am really convinced. Dean wouldn’t touch that stuff with a ten-foot-pole.” The following whack over his head makes him actually smile even more.

After finishing, Jared starts rinsing off the dishes. “You wanna get some rest?” He gestures with a sud covered hand to the table. “It’s quite easy to turn it into a bed.” – “Nah. I’m fine.”A huge yawn betrays Jensen’s words.

“Sure.” Jared laughs. “Wanna watch the game together?” – “You have a TV in here?” – “Never would go without.” – “Cool. “ – “It’s at the other bed though.” – “Fine with me.”

 

*

 

“Jared, the game is there.” Jensen points at the screen, when Jared keeps thoughtfully staring at him. “It’s a bit like in the penultimate episode we shot.” – “The “Very supernatural Christmas” one?” – “Mhm. ” And now also Jensen seems to have forgotten the football players on the screen, just focusing on his co-star.

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

____________________________________

Prompt: Hide-away

 

 

 

 

Based fictionally on:

https://variety.com/2015/tv/people-news/jared-padalecki-always-keep-fighting-depression-suicide-twloha-1201451708/

 

 

 

 

°

 


	10. * Blizzed (RPF)

°

 

 

 

Time stamp: Season 3 / Winter 2007

 

 

Pearl Jam - State of Love and Trust

Song in text

[Lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pearljam/stateofloveandtrust.html)

 

 

 

 

**Blizzed**

 

 

 

Jensen awakes with a jolt to the white noise of the TV. His right cheek feels overly warm. Fuzzy blue tinged light falls onto the quiescent giant next to him. A little embarrassed Jensen notices, that he had been sleeping on Jared’s shoulder, leaving some drool on his hoodie.

He looks unsure over to the table. The commotion of turning it into a bed would clearly wake up Jared, and the man definitely needed a good nights rest with their crazy 16-hour-schedules.

Or he could just stay here and pretend …

“Stop thinking so loud and go back to sleep, Ackles.” Jared’s sleep drunken rumble freezes Jensen in place, but his friend just turns onto his other side. After some awkward seconds Jensen sinks back onto the warm matress next to Jared, pulls the cover over both of them.

 

*

 

The next time Jensen wakes up, there is a kind of howling around the van, then inside of it. “Wow! Check this out!” Jared is straining his whole body to keep the door open. Snow is flying or rather shooting by – vertically!  And now, Jensen also can feel the van shaking in the onslaught of the wind. With a loud thud the door smashes shut.

“Did the weather report say anything about this?”, asks Jared wide-eyed, then grins.

Though the shock is starting to set in, Jensen is still a little slow, as he always is in the morning, the opposite of “Let’s have a snow ball fight – right now!”-Jared. He barely makes it into his snow pants and jacket, before Jared hauls him outside.

 

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hr26JwPOZA)

 

They are falling head over heels into a snow bank and Jared can’t stop laughing, probably because Jensen looks like a snow-covered Yeti muttering “Not even coffee first …”.

Jared scoops up snow with his shovel like hands, trying to build a heap. “We can make an igloo.” His eyes shine like a 5-year-olds and even though Jensen raises a skeptical eyebrow, his morning grump façade is melting with Jared just radiating with enthusiasm.

After three attempts of making the snow more compact Jared grunts out: “Damn, you are right.” – “A-alway-y-ys!” Jensen’s teeth are chattering uncontrollably in the icy tempest.

“Should we head back inside, princess?” The next moment, Jared is thrown with a full quarterback movement back into the snowdrift, swallowing them both. Slightly panting, Jensen is getting on all fours above him, eyes squinting down on him against the flying crystal daggers. He tries to stuff a fistful of snow down Jared’s back, but Jared flips them and now Jensen is writhing under “caressing” icy administrations.

When they had started on the show, Jensen had been stronger, since for his role in “Smallville” he had to be in top shape and Jared had been just a tall young man, who had not yet grown into his body.

But now Jared had this fitness routine helping him with his anxieties and Jensen is left staring into the indefinable colour of Jared’s eyes above him wondering.

 

 

 

 

_____________________________________

Prompt: Snow storm

 

 

 

 

  
°


	11. * Lines (RPF)

°

 

 

 

 

Pearl Jam - Even Flow

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l3Cmtc6ZxI)

[Lyrics](https://genius.com/Pearl-jam-even-flow-lyrics) 

 

 

 

 

Time Stamp: Season 3 – Winter 2007  
Prep for episode 3.10: “Dream a little dream of me”

 

 

 

 

 

**Lines**

 

 

 

"Ehm, we should..." Jared's eyes are still on Jensen’s, when he a little awkwardly slides of him.

They manage to free the van, but the streets haven’t yet seen a snow plow and so their small victory is completely fruitless.

Back in the warm safety of the van, Jensen is a full on body shudder, though his cheeks are flushed, a mixture of molten snow and sweat running down his forehead and  his wet hair sticking in every direction. “C-C-Co-Coffee!”

Over a steaming cup, Jared looks up with furrowed brows. “I just checked the road report. There is no fucking chance, we'll make it back to Vancouver today. We should probably call the producers.” Jensen just sighs.

*

"Uhm, they're not very happy." Jared flicks his mobile on the table. "I got that impression, when I heard McG yelling into your ear. Fuckerˋs in sunny L.A. and has no idea, what's going on here. At least, Kim and Bob are understanding.” Jensen points to his phone. “They are trying to work around our absence tomorrow. Hope this isn’t gonna bite us in the ass later." Jared scoffs.  "You sound like Dean." - "You wish! Well, we probably should run lines.” – “Right. Something specific?”

Jensen sighs heavily. "I can’t figure out how to play this evil version of Dean." - "You mean his inner demon confronting his anxieties and insecurities?" - "If you wanna put it this way..." Quickly, Jensen takes a sip of his coffee. “Doesn’t this dialogue seem a little too … blunt?" - "You sound like you are afraid of it?" - "Nah!!! ... A little."

“Sorry. How can I help? If you want, I can do "normal" Dean." - " Cool. Well, … Let’s pick it up from here.” Jensen points at a line in the script and closes his eyes. Jared has always been fascinated by the change that befalls Jensen, when he slips into Dean. It’s subtle, little muscle movements, but it changes his aura in powerful ways.

“Joke all you want, smart-ass. But you can't lie to me.” Dream!Dean bites out. “I know the truth. I know how dead you are inside. How worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror... and hate what you see.” Jensen is intense and Jared forgets his cue.  

“Fuck, I don’t know how to do this.” Troubled Jensen looks up from the script, seemingly being at the end of his rope. This rarely happens with him being a skilled perfectionist.

An idea flashes through Jared’s mind. “Come here.” He grabs Jensen by the shoulders and shoves him into the tiny bathroom, squeezing in behind him. They barely fit. “Look in the mirror and - really talk to Dean.”

A shiver flashes through Jensen’s torso and Jared squeezes his shoulders reassuringly, shortly laying his chin on top of Jensen’s head, just because he can and  Jensen’s little scowl is totally worth it. Even more so the familiar smell of sweat mixed with Jensen’s “Wood” perfume.  

 

 

 

 

__________________________

Prompt: Daily routine

 

[Dean vs Dream!Dean - Scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsgPqWkmTbc)

 

 

°


	12. * Breath (RPF)

°

 

 

Song: Pearl Jam – Breath

[Link Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GeZ7fd_90A)

[Link Lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pearljam/breath.html)

 

 

 

**Breath and A Scream**

 

 

“This isn’t supposed to happen today. Come on!” Sam – he, Jared – is panting and crying.

It’s Day 6 shooting the “Mystery Spot” episode and everybody loves the idea and the comedy around it. It’s also the 9th time Kim is yelling “Cut” and Jared just falls, slumps over Dean’s dead body, over Jensen, who is lying shot in the parking lot of their motel.

The wet pavement is soaking for the 9th time through his jeans and Jo, the costume set supervisor, is already aproaching with her blowdryer, when Jensen opens his eyes, looking up at him from the ground with big green eyes. Jared’s not sure, if he can take it one more time.

“Hey, Dude. You’re okay?”, Jensen whispers and Jared shakes his head minutely. Jensen tries to get up, but Jared doesn’t want to let go of Jensen’s warm, living body. He really has had it with these trilions of deaths.

Jensen’s dry deliveries have been hilarious and he usually loves them, but not this week, when he has to mourn Dean’s death a thousand times.

And it is not just Dean. It feels like Jensen is dying over and over again – slapsticky under a piano or electrocuted, off-camera in the shower, bitten to death by a Golden Retriever and by Sam himself, for fuck’s sake.

The worst though was the shotgun wound in the beginning. It was just so … random. In that instance, he had not just felt the shock of Sam – he had been Sam. Everything is so damn tangled up in him, character bleeding into him and he can’t see the light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.

 

*****

Kim just needs one look at Jensen’s face to know, what’s going on.

“I’m so sorry, Jensen, but … I would love to let you go sooner today, especially knowing that Jared’s still recovering from his last break down, but … we can’t give the producers any more reasons to not renew us for another season.”

Jensen nods. He knows this, knows the pang of thinking, that maybe six more episodes and that’s it.

“Especially with the upcoming Writer’s strike. … Also, the trouble with the snow storm was not really putting us in their favor.” Jensen can see Kim fumbling for words and has pity with him.

“Maybe if just Jared goes home and I stay ...” It’s useless and he knows it, knows all the scenes, that still needs to be shot in the next two days and Jared is in every single one of them. Actually, since he is dead in the last third, he will be the one, who gets time off and isn’t that unfair.

 

*****

“And?” Jared looks hopeful for a moment, but Jensen just wordlessly shakes his head.

Tired. He is just so fucking tired like bone deep.

And besides - the thing with Sandy. It was a mistake. A fucking, freaking mistake. This engagement, it’s not gonna rescue him from ...

 

… whatever his problem is.

 

 

 

 

 

____________________

Prompt:  On set

 

[Jared about the shooting of Mystery Spot](https://www.cinemablend.com/television/1558959/the-supernatural-episode-that-was-the-worst-to-shoot-according-to-jared-padalecki)

[Set pictures](https://www.flickr.com/photos/28166983@N08/sets/72157618146952254/)

[J² Tribute to the late Kim Manners](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fPoDFtMK4c) \- Jensen looks really wiped!

 

 

°


	13. * Saturday morning, 3:45 (RPF)

°

 

 

Time Stamp: Season 3 – Winter 2007  
Episode 3.13: “Ghostfacers”  
Last day of shooting before the Christmas Hiatus

 

 

 

Pearl Jam - Nothing as it seems

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id920P5eg0A)

[Lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pearljam/nothingasitseems.html)

 

 

 

 

**Saturday, 3:45 am**

 

 

 

When the boys finally stumble into the back of the car, it is Saturday morning. Clif notices that Jensen is wrapped in a winter coat that is far too big for him, his hood pulled up. With a huge sigh and a "Good to see you, Clif!” he sinks into his seat.

 

That's one of many things he likes about the two boys: they're always friendly, no matter how tired or exhausted they are. And right now they look more than ready for their well-deserved Christmas break.

 

Jensen always sits behind him, Jared behind the passenger seat, which is completely pushed forward to allow room for his long legs.

 

Usually the jokes fly loosely between the two or there’s just comfortable silence in the back. Not tonight ... Under the exhaustion there is something else in the air. Despite the prospect of vacation and recreation Jensen seems neither happy nor relieved.

 

Above the hum of the engine Clif can hear Jared's quiet "Man, I'm done." followed by an even quieter "I can't believe it, Jay, that I won't see you for two weeks". from Jensen.

 

The traffic light jumps to red. Clif stops. "I feel the same way, Jen." He can hear Jared petting Jens’s leg. The white glow of Jensen's smile in the rearview mirror seems sad. Huddled in the huge jacket, he looks more like a little boy and something protective flutters through Clif's chest, bodyguard instinct probably.

 

Hooooonk!

 

Alright, man, it's green! Clif hates impatient drivers, especially at 4am, so he waits extra 30 seconds and another honk until he finally gets going. Jared's laughter sounds young and almost as cheerful as it normally does.

 

Jensen still seems withdrawn again, though. "Should I drop you off first, Jensen?" – “It's fine, Clif. Probably Harley and Sadie are waiting longingly for Little Jared here."

 

"Phew, the birthday party set was really creepy, wasn't it?" - "Mhm." Jensen rubs his face. "But even more creepy was the fact that Corbett, the gay ghost hunter, had to die!” Jensen sounds annoyed, almost angry. "I really wish the authors had changed that." In the flash of a passing streetlight Clif notices that Jared nods seriously.

 

When he checks the rearview mirror again, Jensen seems a little more relaxed. With half-closed eyes he looks at the calm sleepy skyline of Vancouver that passes in front of his tinted window, rolling downtown.

 

Fifteen minutes later Clif holds in front of Jared's house. When Jared opens the door, the ceiling lights flashes on, but after that nothing happens until Clif hears him whisper in a slightly amused way: "I really don't know how to get out of here!”

 

Clif turns around on his seat and discovers Jensen snuggled up on Jared's shoulder, soundly asleep, holding him very effectively in the seat.

 

Cautiously, Jareds winds himself out under Jensen, pats him on the hood and Jensen dozily mumbles something incomprehensible.

 

"See you in five hours, Clif," Jared whispers and closes the door extra quietly.

 

 

 

____________________________________

 

Prompt: tired

 

 

 

 

°


	14. * LAX (RPF)

°

 

 

Time Stamp: Season 3 – Winter 2007  
Christmas Hiatus

 

 

 

Pearl Jam - Given to fly

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh1gImq_dpg)

[lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pearljam/giventofly.html)

 

 

 

**LAX**

 

 

It's more like crawling up the gangway and into the plane instead of walking. Since, it’s still unclear, if Supernatural will be renewed, they have booked economy seats, pushing their base caps deep into their faces, because they do get recognized more and more often now.

 

It's kind of narrow, sitting next to the sasquatch, but Jensen doesn't mind. He likes having Jared close. He's not sure though, if Jared feels the same.

 

Yesterday night, Clif was laughing, when he had told him about his "occupation methods", but Jensen’s face is heating up again at the thought.

 

Next to him Jared is kneading his hands, accidentally pushing his elbow over and over into Jensen's side without seeming to notice. "And there I thought I was the nervous flyer." Jensen tries to joke despite being probably more nervous, because Jared is so freaking close in these seemingly tiny seats.

 

How could he just have let his guard down like this yesterday? He really needs to play it safer from now on. Maybe they really have gotten too tangled up.  

 

During the flight he first pretends to sleep, his head on the vibrating plastic window, staying away from Jared as much as possible, then he really fell asleep.

 

LAX.

 

Jensen puts on his sun glasses. It's a little ridiculous inside a building, but this is Hollywood and there are always paparazzi waiting at the airport. And now the holiday season has started, which means the sharks' circles are even tigther.

 

Also, the sun is shining. Well, outside. It's weird after weeks of snowy, grey Vancouver.

 

When they are walking through the arrival door, there is a squeal, a flurry of rosé storming their way. Jensen recoils, but Sandy runs the last meters, jumping into Jared's open arms with a smile as bright as the sun. He just lifts her up like nothing. She is linking her legs behind Jared's back and starts to kiss him vehemently.

 

Jensen has to turn away, his eyes hot and burning. He is really grateful for the sun glasses. Surely enough, the whole ruckus has brought attention to them.

 

He tugs at Jared's sleeve. "Time to go!" He nods carefully in the direction of an approaching guy with two large cameras around his neck.

 

It takes Jared only a split second to put Sandy down and push her in the opposite direction. A weird satisfaction floods through Jensen, along the lines of "See, Sandy, how Jared and I are functioning like a well-oiled machine, like partners?"

 

It's exhilarating, how they move like shadows of each other, just through unspoken impulses. And it's fucking frightening. What if they are not getting renewed?

 

Jensen carefully checks over his shoulder. The paparazzi is still there. No wonder with gigantic Jared.

 

"Turn left!" Sandy instructs them. It is also not her first rodeo. He actually likes her. He likes seeing Jared being in love,  sparkling eyes and how he is caring for this compared to him little woman at his side.

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________

 

Prompt: plane

 

 

 

 

°

 


	15. * Hellatus (RPF)

°

 

 

 

Time Stamp: Season 3 – Winter 2007  
Christmas Hiatus in L.A.

 

 

 

Pearl Jam - Oceans

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WOk7UNAvOw)

[Lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pearljam/oceans.html)

 

 

 

 

**Hellatus**

 

 

 

 

Gayle, his agent is beaming. "You got it!!!" - "Great. Ehm, what exactly?" - "The role in this cute indie movie!!!" - "This punk in "Ten Inch Hero"?” - “I know, it’s not your favorite, but with the writer's strike coming up and Supernatural isn’t renewed yet, it's better to broaden your portfolio!" -"Yes … I guess."

 

Normally, he doesn't read ahead in the script, that is Jared's thing. But with this Damocles' uncertainty, he had finally asked Jared about the finale. It wasn’t really a surprise. Slipping into Dean he had felt it already: he, well, Dean would go to Hell. They _had_ to renew Supernatural for another season. The story arc wasn't finished. How could they possibly end this story with him being in Hell? 

 

“Anything else, Jensen?” Gayle interrupts his dwellings. “Things are still good up there in Hollywood North?" He nods and bites back the tears. This is not the place. Probably it’s just because he is tired and a little overwhelmed from seeing Jared with Sandy.

 

 *

 

When he steps out into the sunshine, there is this itch to go to Jared's trailer, right now, and talk to him about his new role. Instinctively, he reaches for his phone, but then he sees Sandy's bright smile. The love birds hadn’t had 24 hours together. Probably he shouldn't disturb them. 

 

Instead he calls Daneel, who is playing alongside of him. They know each other loosely through a bigger circle of friends, including Jared. She sounds actually happy to hear from him. A piece of the cold knot in his stomach thaws. They agree to have coffee in Venice.

 

*

 

It's a beautiful December morning at the sea side. Not quite warm enough to wear a t-shirt, but close. If Vancouver really falls through, sunny California is waiting for him. 

 

"I've watched a few episodes of your show." Daneel's smile is infectious. Not as much as Jared's, but... "I start to understand the fascination." 

 

"What exactly do you mean?" He's really curious how people from the industry perceive the series.

 

"Well, it's creepy, it's funny, it's a bad ass road movie. The car!!!" - "Yeah, Baby is great." The memories bring back the longing of sitting in the car on set and talk to Jared. "Good looking guys, who save the world." Daneel winks at him. Just once. Is she flirting with him? 

 

Better to change the atmosphere. "Is there something you don't like?" - "The lack of women." A straight answer. She doesn't even need to think about it. "Yeah, well,..." It sounds lame, even though he agrees. 

 

"But the rest is promising for a longer run.” Daneel smiles. The wind is playing with her long red hair. "And Jared is such a lovely guy." Jensen sighs inwardly. "So, what I love best is the bond between the brothers. You two have such great chemistry, it feels actually real."

 

Jensen nods in full agreement. It hurts how much he misses Jared. And it is barely 24 hours. 

 

 

 

Fuck!

 

 

 

 

________________________

Prompt: Without you

 

 

 

 

°

 


	16. * I am mine (RPF)

°

 

 

Short preamble:

To some fans, who have been to conventions, this might be an ambivalent chapter. I don’t wanna step on anyone’s toes (as we say in German), but I believe some things at Conventions are not easy on the cast as well as on the fans, despite the general and really unusual and fantastic family vibe.

So, this is a fictional POV of Chris Schmelke, the photographer in the Photo Op Booth.

Find some links at the end of the chapter.

 

 

 

Song: Pearl Jam – I am Mine

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBD4RV9jOKI)

[Lyrics](https://genius.com/Pearl-jam-i-am-mine-lyrics)

The Song was inspired by a tragedy at the Roskilde Festival in 2000 in Denmark. As Pearl Jam performed, nine fans were crushed to death.

 

 

Time Stamp: Season 3 – Spring 2008  
L.A. Convention "Salute to Supernatural"

 

 

 

 

 

 

**I am mine**

 

 

 

 

I can see it in Jensen's eyes. He's really trying to give everything for the fans, who have paid good money for the experience to be close to him.

 

So, the basic Photo Op procedure works like this: Be ushered in from the line by staff. Say hello. Present your idea. Carry it out. Bye. 2 minutes max. The experience in itself is short enough, though I am guessing from the nervous glances that the run-up to it is not.

 

Sometimes he googles "Supernatural convention Photo Op" and finds his pictures with super detailed descriptions of how the fans have experienced it. Every smile and touch is analysed and interpreted to the second. There is a lot of gushing, which he gets because... Jensen's Jensen and Jared's Jared and Misha... Well...

 

He truly does love it. Not so much the being away from his family, but meeting the people he started to be real friends with, being on stage with Louden Swine - it does feel like his second family.

 

Also, the happy smiles and happy tears in the little world of the photo op booth are more than worth it.

 

Today is different though. He barely knows Jensen for a year now, but he can still tell, that he's in one of his moods. Face like a storm cloud, all gritted teeth and shutters down. Jensen still shakes his hand and slaps his shoulder, but it's easy to see that he’s not into it, he's not really here.

 

One of the numerous women in the line wants Jensen to kiss her on the cheek and normally that would be fine with Jensen. Today he nods, but in the photo Jensen sports wrinkled creases and a nearly hostile glare, especially compared to the beaming fan.

 

And then, it all goes to hell. Once or twice a year, there’s this one fan, who goes too far. Some just want a bit too much or overstay their time, but this lady decides that it is appropriate to not just strip the cloth of Jensen with her eyes, but to actually grab his butt.

 

A split second Jensen’s glaring daggers at her, who finally seems to get the "inappropriate" memo, half a second until Cliff materializes out of thin air, putting his viking body between Jensen and the woman and then Jensen storms out.

 

There are some not very nice words yelled from the fan next in line, but Chris agrees with her. He hates these moments, this falling out of the family vibe. It's gonna take at least 10 super nice and respectful fans to repair a bit of the damage done.

 

Ten minutes later, which in the tick-tack Con-clockwork is more like an hour, Jensen’s back, face even tighter and more absent.

 

Chris nearly audibly sighs, when he sees Jared coming in behind Jensen, standing next to him behind the camera, a warm bundle of sunshine and Jensen finally relaxes into a tight lipped smile for the next photo.

 

 

_> Click!<_

 

 

 

 

______________________________________

prompt: injustice

 

 

 

 

**Links**

 

[Convention "Salute to Supernatural", L.A. 2008](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/Salute_to_Supernatural_L.A._2008)

 

[Chris Schmelke - Interview 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8UdLqrjqsg)

[Chris Schmelke - Interview 2](http://www.nerdsandbeyond.com/2018/12/12/interview-chris-schmelke-talks-photography-conventions-and-more/)

 

 

°

 

 


	17. * Release me (RPF)

°

 

Song: Pearl Jam – Release

Song in Text

Lyrics: Eddie Vedder didn’t wanted them to be written down.

 

 

 

Time Stamp: Season 3 – Spring 2008  
shooting of the finale: 3x16 "No rest for the wicked"

 

 

 

 

**Release me**

 

 

 

 

[Dead or Alive Scene](https://youtu.be/6ZeGfiGcmDU)

 

Jensen quietly hums “Dead or Alive” next to him. Clif has made it very clear, that they can both walk home if they continue to turn his car into a karaoke show at 3am.

 

Slowly the good mood of the "Bon Jovi" scene seeps out of Jared. They had to shoot it eleven times, because according to Kim Jensen allegedly sang too well, then Kim found that Sam looked too happy, too much dimple grinning, too much Jared.

 

The long drive through the night blurs into a series of season-3-snapshots as people describe it shortly before their death. Jim as Bobby says: "Family doesn't end with blood, boy" and Jared hopes it's true, that he'll see Jensen again - even without a show.

 

A picture from yesterday. "You’re my weak spot. You are. And I'm yours." and in a way Jared can't pinpoint, it’s true for him and Jensen as well.

 

Yesterday he was standing at the mega-green-screen-set. Dean screaming at bloody hooks. He doesn't scream "Mom" or "Dad". He screams "Sam" and again a cold shiver runs over Jared's back. He just wants to hold Dean. Or Jensen.

 

*

 

[Release me (Song)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS0b2bhtwO8)

 

And now: last day of shooting season 3. Tomorrow he flies to Austin, Jensen to L.A. Then waiting, waiting if they get another chance to finish the "Winchester Gospel".

 

Jensen had the hellhound scene moved to the back of the shooting schedule. A damn good idea, as Jared notices. Since this morning he is waiting, heart and body cramped, for Dean's death.

 

At least, they finished the scene this morning, in which Dean says: "Keep fightin’. Take care of my wheels."

 

But the scene now is too much, for both of them. Jared's lips tremble and Jensen in front of him as well behind a curtain of tears, which are running uncontrollably along Jared's nose and dripping on Dean, dissolving in the sticky red corn syrup.

 

Jensen really tries to lie there dead with his eyes wide open, but can't make it. Every time Jared starts crying, tears run out of his eyes as well and they have to start all over again for the fourth time.

 

After half an hour the set is ready, but Jensen has disappeared.

 

His PA is searching for him, Kripke and Kim look at Jared questioningly, as if this were a prank he had arranged.

 

Eventually, Jared disappears behind the scenes with his script, tries for the fourth time to immerse himself in Sam's despair and there, where it's quieter, far away from the hustle and bustle, he finds Jensen, on his knees, fists put against the fake door, his head lowered, immersed in something that almost looks like a prayer.

 

Jensen doesn't notice him and Jared cannot even say, who’s there in front of him. Jensen or Dean? Both?

 

Jared still stares spellbound at his friend as Jensen turns his head and looks him straight in the eye. It is as if Jensen can see into his soul, then he nods slowly.

 

 

 

<https://i.pinimg.com/236x/0b/9d/ea/0b9dea0a4a8e2c18b02dc46dd6c84e49--jensen-ackles-supernatural-supernatural-fandom.jpg>

 

 

 

°

 

 

 

_________________________________________

Prompt: Island

 

 

<https://i.pinimg.com/originals/07/28/9f/07289f14c8098922dea90baf6cea8442.jpg>

 

<https://youtu.be/jL6kkw6Tmqo>

The “weak spot”-Scene.

 

 

 

 

°


	18. Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texting.

°

 

  
  
Song: Pearl Jam - Smile  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osZmEQljDs8  
Lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pearljam/smile.html  
  
  
  
Time Stamp: Hiatus between season 3 and 4 - summer 2008  
  
  


  
**smile**

 

 

  
  
_Message from Jared_

  
[Beach!](http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10900000/Jared-on-the-beach-jared-padalecki-10909931-350-468.jpg)

  
_Message from Jensen_

Oh, man!  
Who is the woman next to you?

  
Dude, that is my sister.  
You can tell by the tip of her nose ;-)

  
  
Oh, right. ;-)  
Thought you had a nice holiday acquaintance  
you show-off.

  
  
Oh, come on. You are happy about every photo  
I'm sending your way portraying my astral body.  
Besides, the workout is really good for me,  
not just because of the muscles,  
but also for my state of mind.

  
  
If that's so, you can continue to send Selfies.  
Gladly also a few sweaty ones from the gym. ;-)°

  
  
Dream on, Ackles. How about you?

  
  
[Set photo "Ten Inch Hero"](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CZF25TvUMAA52L-.jpg)

  
  
  
The green punk style suits you perfectly.  
Grrr, so wild.  
Will you try to convince Kim, that Dean should get pierced? ;-)  
How's it going with the movie?  
Especially with your hot co-star?  
Do you still have such "stimulating conversations"  
on the way to the set?  
By the way, you look great together.

Daneel is fantastic. Wickedly smart woman.  
She really knows what she wants.

  
You???? ;-)  
And pretty ...

  
  
Whatever.  
Should I give her your number?

  
Sure. :-)

 

  
Maybe we can really do something together.  
In L.A.?  
Really no chance that you come by???  
Miss you, J.

  
  
I miss you too. But it's not gonna work with L.A.  
Can hardly wait to be back again in Good Ol' Vancouver  
sitting around with you freezing our asses off  
instead of lying under the Texas sun on the beach.

  
Vancouver is okay.  
But I'm actually homeless when we come back.  
Tom kicked me out.

  
  
  
Whaaaaaat? WTF? Why?

  
Simply because he needs his apartment for himself again.  
I guess I'll move into a hotel again.

 

Are you crazy? Absolutely not. You move in with me.  
The basement is free and if it doesn`t bother you  
to live together with two drooling dogs and one constantly  
sweaty bodybuilding giant, then...  
Welcome to the family!  
  
  
  
  
  


 

Jen? Sorry, it was just an idea.  
Of course you don't have to.

  
No. I mean - thank you.  
Gladly. I mean, I would reall like to. Really.

 

Wow, you can even stutter in text messages.  
I can literally see your red cheeks. Understandable.  
I would feel the same way if I could move in with myself.

  
Shut up, man.  
But thank you. Honestly.

 

You can return the favor.  
I already have a few tasks in mind...

 

Sure. With your non-household management that's easy.  
How many pizza boxes did we throw away the other day?  
18??? Plus the one Harley tore up?

 

I'm about to withdraw my generous offer, you cookie-cutter!

 

Got to get back to the set, bitch. 

 

Have fun, Jerk!  


 

°

 

  
  
  
°


End file.
